Many people look forward to this time of year, but that may not be the case for those who are grieving.

Experts say the holidays can be stressful and there’s pressure for everything to be merry. Gina Moffa, a grief and trauma therapist, says the holidays can be a stark reminder of what we’re missing and it makes grieving harder due to the pressure of being happy during the holidays.

Moffa says one of the things those who are grieving during the holidays have to do is to be realistic with expectations of themselves. She says it’s OK if you can’t show up to something, bake that pie, or be merry. She says it’s also important to let people know how they feel and that it’s OK to set boundaries. Perhaps call ahead to wherever you may be going and let them know you’re feeling sensitive and you’d like to not talk about a topic that could trigger feelings of grief. 

You can also have a backup plan if you wake up that day and feel really debilitated with loss, grief and the symptoms related to it. Another thing important to remember, Moffa says, is there’s no timeline for grief, and it can look different every year.

Here’s a tip for those who are trying to support a grieving person this holiday season: "If you think that you don't want to upset somebody by bringing up their lost loved one, please know that that person is going to be top of mind anyway," said Moffa. "It feels really good and comforting when somebody can bring up the loss so they can remember it together and honor it together."

Moffa says grief is a full-body experience, not just an emotional one. Physical symptoms can include anxiety, lack of proper sleep or eating less and feeling more tired.